91 days
The statutory minimum
No decree until ninety-one days after the court acquires jurisdiction over the respondent. Nothing settles faster than that; a mediated case is ready by then.
Mediation and litigation: one strategy, not two.
Most Colorado divorces settle, and in the metro districts you will be required to try before a contested hearing. The question is not mediation or court; it is when, in what room, and with what in hand. Mediation is confidential by statute and a signed memorandum binds. Arbitration is available for the money and, with a thirty-five-day de novo right, for the children. Collaborative divorce has had a Colorado statute since 2022. And the hearing, for the cases that need it, is a half day to two days that the prepared side wins. This page is each room, the rules that govern it, and the method that works in all of them.
- 01The rooms, compared
- 02Mediation: the rules
- 03When the deal binds
- 04Arbitration, and the child-issue rule
- 05Collaborative divorce
- 06Coordinators, decision-makers, ENA
- 07The litigation path
- 08Settling from strength
- →What people ask first
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The side that arrives with the trial file settles on better terms. That is the whole method.
Every divorce lawyer says they settle cases. The question a client should ask is what the lawyer walks into the mediation room with. A settlement is a prediction of what a judge would do, discounted for the cost and risk of finding out. The side that has done the disclosure, valued the company, run the support worksheets both ways and prepared the witnesses knows what the judge would do; the other side is guessing. The prepared side’s prediction is the one the mediator works from, and the deal lands nearer it. That is not a negotiating trick; it is the arithmetic of leverage, and it is why I prepare every case for the hearing whether or not I expect one.
Colorado gives the parties more rooms than most states: a state-run mediation office at a fixed hourly rate, private mediators, arbitration by consent with a de novo safeguard for the children, a collaborative-law statute since 2022, parenting coordinators and decision-makers for the fights after the decree, and a district court that sets a contested case for a hearing on a predictable calendar. What follows is each of them, with the statute that governs it and what it is good for. The last section is the method: an iron fist in a velvet glove, which is to say a prepared case, presented civilly, settled from strength.
$75
Per party, per hour
The Office of Dispute Resolution’s rate for domestic relations mediation; $15 for a party found indigent; the online program is free.
35 days
To seek de novo review
Of an arbitrator’s or decision-maker’s ruling about the children; a party who loses the review pays the other side’s fees.
Confidential
By statute
Mediation communications cannot be disclosed or compelled, and a communication disclosed in violation cannot be admitted in evidence.
The rooms, compared.
Six ways a Colorado family case is decided. Most cases use two of them.
| The room | Who decides | Binding? | Review | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Negotiation between counsel | The parties, through their lawyers | When signed and approved by the court as a separation agreement | The court reviews property and maintenance terms for unconscionability and children’s terms for best interests | Cases where the numbers are known and both sides are represented; most of the work in every case |
| Mediation | The parties, with a neutral who has no power to decide | When reduced to writing, signed, and approved by the court | The same court review; the talks themselves are confidential and inadmissible | Nearly every case, once disclosures and valuations are done; required before a contested hearing in the metro districts |
| Early neutral assessment | The parties, after a neutral evaluator (often a lawyer and a mental-health professional) assesses the case | If it produces an agreement | As a mediated agreement | Parenting disputes early in a case, where an outside read of the likely outcome moves the parties |
| Arbitration | A private arbitrator the parties choose | Yes, on issuance | Children’s issues: de novo in the district court on a motion within thirty-five days, with fee-shifting against a losing movant. Money: the narrow grounds for vacating an award | Complex financial cases that want speed and privacy; parenting disputes where a fast, expert decision is worth the review risk |
| Collaborative law | The parties, in structured meetings with lawyers pledged not to litigate | When signed and approved | The same court review | Couples who can disclose candidly and want privacy and control; not a case with hidden assets or coercion |
| Litigation | The district court judge | Yes, as a decree | Appeal to the Court of Appeals on a short deadline, on the law and the sufficiency of the findings | Cases with a spouse who will not disclose or negotiate, a valuation gap experts cannot close, or a child-safety question |
Parenting coordinators and decision-makers, for the disputes after the decree, are their own row and their own section below.
Mediation: the rules that govern it.
Colorado’s dispute-resolution statute defines mediation, protects what is said in it, and limits when a court may order it.
| The rule | In the statute’s words | What it means for you |
|---|---|---|
| What mediation is | Intervention in dispute negotiations by a trained neutral third party with the purpose of assisting the parties to reach their own solution. | The mediator has no power to decide anything. Nothing happens unless you agree to it. |
| Confidentiality | No party, mediator or mediation organization shall voluntarily disclose or through discovery or compulsory process be required to disclose any information concerning any mediation communication, unless all parties and the mediator consent in writing; the communication reveals the intent to commit a felony, inflict bodily harm or threaten the safety of a child; a statute requires disclosure; or the claim is against the mediator. A communication disclosed in violation shall not be admitted into evidence. | What you offer, concede or say in the room cannot come back at the hearing. The mediator’s notes and your memoranda are covered. Documents you had to disclose anyway are not protected by handing them to the mediator. |
| The signed agreement is not confidential | A final written agreement which has been fully executed is not a mediation communication unless the parties otherwise agree. | The memorandum of understanding you sign at the end of the day is a real document, usable in court. Read it as one before you sign it. |
| The court’s power to refer | Any court of record may, in its discretion, refer any case for mediation services; a party may object within five days of a referral order by demonstrating compelling reasons why mediation should not be ordered. | The metro districts use this power by case-management order before a contested permanent orders hearing, and in post-decree cases before the status conference. |
| The abuse exception | The court shall not refer the case to mediation where one of the parties claims that the party has been the victim of physical or psychological abuse by the other party, at any time and regardless of prior participation, and states that the party is thereby unwilling to enter into mediation. | Mandatory, no deadline, no proof required, per the Colorado Supreme Court. The Office of Dispute Resolution screens for domestic violence on its own and declines cases where violence is ongoing or could escalate. |
| Nobody is locked out for cost | In no event shall a party be denied the right to proceed in court in the action filed because of failure to pay the mediator. | A party who cannot pay still gets a hearing. |
The Office of Dispute Resolution, the judicial branch’s own program, charges $75 per party per hour for district court domestic relations cases, $15 per hour for a party found indigent, with a two-hour deposit and a cancellation charge of up to two hours; its online program is free; its early neutral assessment service is $80 an hour, state-paid. Private mediators, usually senior family lawyers or retired judges, charge more and work in half- and full-day attorney-attended sessions, which is the format contested, represented cases use.
What actually happens in the room.
Represented parties mediate in separate rooms with the mediator carrying proposals and reality between them; the day ends with a signed memorandum on what was resolved and a narrower hearing on what was not.
The format. In a represented case the parties sit in separate rooms with their lawyers and the mediator shuttles between them, carrying proposals and, more usefully, reality. A joint opening is rare in a divorce and usually unhelpful. A session runs a half day or a full day; a contested financial case may take two.
What the mediator does. Tests each side’s prediction of what a judge would do against the mediator’s own; identifies what each side actually needs as opposed to what it demands; sequences the issues so that the ones that unlock the others are decided first; and, at the end, drafts the memorandum of understanding that both sides sign before they leave. A good mediator is candid with each room about its weaknesses; that candor is why the talks are confidential.
What the lawyer does. Arrives with the trial file: the disclosures, the valuations, the support worksheets under every plausible set of inputs, the parenting plan drafts, the tax model of every proposal. Every offer is priced after tax before it is made or accepted. Every concession is traded for one. And the lawyer keeps the client’s eye on the alternative, which is the hearing, and on what it costs and what it is likely to produce.
What comes out. A signed memorandum of understanding on the issues resolved, which counsel turns into a separation agreement and parenting plan for the court; and, on the issues not resolved, a narrower hearing. Partial agreements are common and valuable: a case that mediates the property and tries the maintenance is a one-day hearing instead of three.
When the deal binds, and how the court reviews it.
Three statutes and two Supreme Court decisions decide whether the agreement you signed on Tuesday is the one you are living under in June.
The mediated agreement.
A signed mediated agreement is enforceable as a stipulation and as a contract; the court reviews property and maintenance terms for unconscionability under a two-step test and the children’s terms for their best interests, and once in the decree the terms are a judgment.
The statute. If the parties reach a full or partial agreement, it shall be reduced to writing on request, approved by the parties and their attorneys, and, if reduced to writing and signed by the parties, may be presented to the court by any party as a stipulation and, if approved by the court, shall be enforceable as an order of the court. The Supreme Court has added that this statute is but one means of enforcing a mediation agreement: a signed writing can also be enforced as a contract, and exchanges between counsel after the mediation, not made in the mediator’s presence or at the mediator’s behest, are not privileged.
The separation agreement. Its terms, except those providing for the allocation of parental responsibilities, support and parenting time of children, are binding upon the court unless it finds, after considering the economic circumstances of the parties and any other relevant evidence, that the agreement is unconscionable. If the court finds it unconscionable it may request a revised agreement or make its own orders. If not, its terms are set forth in the decree, or the decree identifies the agreement, and the parties are ordered to perform them; once in the decree they are enforced as a judgment, including by contempt, and are no longer enforceable as contract terms. The decree may expressly preclude or limit modification of terms if the agreement so provides, except terms about the children.
The review. The Supreme Court’s test in Manzo (1983) has two steps: the court first reviews the agreement for fraud, overreaching, concealment of assets or sharp dealing not consistent with the obligations of marital partners to deal fairly with each other, and then looks at the economic circumstances the agreement produces and asks whether, under the totality of the circumstances, the property disposition is fair, just and reasonable. Children’s terms are reviewed for their best interests and never bind the court. A separation agreement signed while a divorce was being pursued is a separation agreement, whatever it is called, and gets this review; the Court of Appeals set aside a mid-marriage deal signed during a mail-order Mexican divorce on exactly that basis.
Arbitration, and the rule for the children.
A private decision-maker, chosen by the parties, on the parties’ schedule, with one safeguard the legislature would not give up.
| The children | The money | |
|---|---|---|
| Authority | With the consent of all parties, the court may appoint an arbitrator to resolve disputes concerning the minor or dependent children, including parenting time, nonrecurring adjustments to child support and disputed parental decisions. | By agreement under the general arbitration act; property and maintenance may be submitted to a private arbitrator. |
| The award | In writing; effective immediately upon entry. | In writing; confirmed by the court as a judgment. |
| Review | De novo: a party may seek a de novo hearing by filing a motion no later than thirty-five days after the award. The court retains jurisdiction over the children regardless of any agreement, and the Court of Appeals has held a religious tribunal’s award about children is reviewable de novo on either party’s request. | The narrow statutory grounds for vacating an arbitration award, on a motion within ninety-one days. |
| The cost of losing the review | If the court substantially upholds the arbitrator’s decision, the party who sought review shall be ordered to pay the other party’s fees and costs and the arbitrator’s fees, unless the court finds that would be manifestly unjust. | None beyond the ordinary fee statutes. |
| What it buys | Speed and an arbitrator who knows the subject; a private hearing; a decision in weeks rather than months. | Speed, privacy of the hearing, an arbitrator chosen for financial expertise; the award still becomes a public decree. |
| What it costs | The arbitrator’s fees, and the review risk. | The arbitrator’s fees, and a near-final answer with almost no appeal. |
Arbitration is chosen most often by parties who want the financial case decided by someone who understands closely held businesses, and by parties who want the hearing itself out of the courtroom. The Privacy page covers what still becomes public.
Collaborative divorce: a Colorado statute since 2022.
For fifteen years Colorado lawyers were told by a bar ethics opinion that they could not agree to withdraw if a collaborative case failed. The legislature answered in 2021.
How it works, and who it fits.
Under Colorado’s 2022 collaborative-law act the spouses and their lawyers agree to resolve the case outside court, with the lawyers disqualified if it fails; it fits candid couples who want privacy and does not fit a case with hidden assets or coercion.
The act. Colorado’s Uniform Collaborative Law Act applies to agreements signed on or after January 1, 2022 and is limited to family and domestic-relations matters, expressly including premarital, marital and post-marital agreements. The parties sign a collaborative law participation agreement, in a record, that states their intent to resolve the matter through the process and their informed consent to the consequences of disqualification.
The disqualification. If the process ends without agreement, the collaborative lawyer and the lawyer’s firm are disqualified from representing the party in court, except to ask a tribunal to approve an agreement or to seek or defend an emergency order. That is the pressure that makes the process work, and the reason it does not suit every case: a spouse who leaves the process leaves with no lawyer.
The lawyer’s duties. Before signing, the lawyer must explain the material benefits and risks of the process against the other reasonably available alternatives, and must make reasonable inquiry into whether the prospective party has a history of a coercive or violent relationship with the other party, and continue to assess it. A case with domestic violence or coercive control is screened out.
Who it fits. Couples who can disclose candidly, who want privacy and control over the terms, and who value the relationship they will have as co-parents more than the last dollar. It does not fit a case with a spouse who will not disclose, a hidden-asset question, a valuation gap that needs a court’s subpoena power, or a safety issue. I offer it where it fits and say plainly when it does not.
Coordinators, decision-makers, and early neutral assessment.
Three neutrals for the disputes a decree does not end, each with a statute.
| The neutral | Appointed | What they do | Review and limits |
|---|---|---|---|
| Parenting coordinator | On the court’s own motion, a party’s motion or agreement; over objection only on findings that the parties failed to adequately implement the plan, mediation was inappropriate or unsuccessful, and appointment serves the child’s best interests. | Helps the parents implement the plan and resolve disputes themselves: exchanges, schedules, communication. Facilitative only; no power to decide. | Two-year term; the parties pay; no binding decisions to review. |
| Decision-maker | Only upon the written consent of both parties. | Binding authority to resolve disputes about implementation or clarification of existing orders: the exchange time, the summer schedule, which soccer league. Effective on issuance. | De novo hearing in the district court on a motion within thirty-five days, with fees shifted to a movant who loses; the Court of Appeals held in 2023 that the hearing must be evidentiary. Two-year term. |
| Early neutral assessment | By the court’s program in districts that offer it, or by agreement. | A neutral team assesses the parenting dispute early and gives both sides a candid read of the likely outcome, then helps them settle it. | Produces an agreement or nothing; the assessment is confidential like mediation. |
| Child and family investigator; parental responsibilities evaluator | By the court, on motion or its own initiative. | Investigates and reports with recommendations; the evaluator conducts a full evaluation. | Not neutrals who resolve anything: their reports are evidence at the hearing. Covered on the Custody Evaluations page. |
For parents who will fight over every exchange for the next ten years, an agreed decision-maker is the single most cost-effective term in a parenting plan. It replaces a motion, a mediation and a hearing with a phone call and a written decision, reviewable if it is wrong.
The litigation path: the calendar the court runs.
A contested Colorado divorce moves on deadlines set by rule and by the court’s case-management order. The deadlines are the leverage.
| When | What happens | Why it matters |
|---|---|---|
| Filing and service | The petition is filed and served; the automatic temporary injunction takes effect against both parties. | The ninety-one-day clock to the earliest possible decree starts when the court acquires jurisdiction over the respondent. |
| Within 42 days | The initial status conference, which all parties and counsel attend, unless a stipulated case-management plan is filed; the sworn financial statement and mandatory disclosures are exchanged within forty-two days after service. | The discovery plan, the expert plan and the hearing dates are set here. A side that arrives prepared sets the agenda. |
| Temporary orders | A hearing, usually brief, on support, use of the home, the children’s schedule and fees while the case is pending, where the parties cannot agree. | The temporary number tends to become the permanent one. The Temporary Orders page covers it. |
| Discovery and experts | Pattern interrogatories and requests plus ten of each additional; depositions; one expert per issue where possible, with reports fifty-six days before the hearing and rebuttals twenty-one days later; discovery closed twenty-eight days before the hearing. | The valuation and the income are settled here, which is what makes mediation work afterward. |
| Mediation | Required by case-management order before a contested permanent orders hearing in the metro districts, unless the abuse exception applies. | Most cases settle here, in whole or in part, once the numbers exist. |
| The trial management certificate | Filed seven days before the hearing: the issues, the witnesses, the exhibits, the time needed. | The last, most productive moment for a settlement, because both sides can now see the other’s case. |
| The permanent orders hearing | A half day for a case with one or two contested issues; a day or two for a contested financial case with experts; more for a contested custody case with an evaluator. The court makes findings and enters the decree. | A judge who has watched the case for a year decides it, on the record built along the way. |
| After | Post-trial motions on a short deadline; appeal to the Court of Appeals on a shorter one; modification and enforcement in the years that follow. | The Appeals page and the Modifying Orders page. |
In the metro districts an uncontested case is reviewed at ninety-one days plus up to thirty; a contested case with experts reaches a permanent orders hearing in roughly nine to fourteen months. The court can order one party to pay the other’s fees after considering their financial resources, and must award fees against a claim or defense that lacked substantial justification.
Settling from strength: an iron fist in a velvet glove.
The method, stated plainly, because clients ask what it means.
The iron fist.
Prepare every case for the hearing; present it without theatrics; settle from the position the preparation creates. The trial file is the leverage, and there is no other kind.
Every case is prepared for the hearing from the first week: the disclosures demanded and checked, the company valued, the income established on the books rather than the return, the support worksheets run on every plausible set of inputs, the parenting evidence gathered from the calendar and the school, the witnesses identified, the exhibits assembled. Not because I expect to try the case, but because the other side’s settlement position is a function of what they believe I will do if we do not settle, and they believe what they can see. The trial file is the leverage; there is no other kind.
The velvet glove.
The preparation is presented civilly, without theatrics, without the letter written for the file, without a motion filed to make a point. Judges in the metro districts have long memories and small dockets; a lawyer who wastes their time on a frivolous emergency motion has spent credibility the client needed for the real one. And the other side of the table is usually a person my client will co-parent with for a decade. Firm is not the same as loud. The strongest position in the room is the quiet one that can prove everything it says.
What it produces.
Settlements measured after tax, at or near what a judge would have ordered, reached in mediation with the hearing date on the calendar, by a client who understood the alternative. And, for the case that will not settle, a hearing the client walks into prepared, with a lawyer who has been in seventy-plus bench trials as first chair and is comfortable in the room without performing in it.
What I tell every client about choosing the room.
Six things, in the order they come up. Not legal advice for your case; the mistakes I have watched for thirty years.
- Mediate after the numbers exist, not before.
A deal made before the disclosures and the valuations is a deal one side regrets. The metro courts require mediation before a hearing; nothing requires it before you know what the estate is.
- Read the memorandum as a contract, because it is one.
The signed memorandum of understanding is not confidential and is enforceable. Nothing is signed at the end of a long day that has not been priced after tax.
- Say nothing in the room you would not say at a hearing; say everything you need to.
Mediation communications are protected by statute, and the protection is real. Use it to be candid about weaknesses; do not use it to bluff.
- Arbitrate the money, keep the judge for the children, if you arbitrate at all.
A children’s award is reviewable de novo within thirty-five days at the loser’s cost; a money award is nearly final. Choose with your eyes open.
- Put a decision-maker in the parenting plan.
By written consent, a neutral who decides the exchange time and the summer schedule in a week, reviewable if wrong. It is the cheapest term in the plan.
- Prepare for the hearing you intend to avoid.
The other side settles on what they believe you will do if they do not. What they believe is what they can see.
Six things people get wrong.
Mediation means giving in.
Mediation is a room; the terms are set by the preparation each side brings into it. The prepared side does better there than at a hearing, and pays less to get there.
What I said in mediation can be used against me.
Mediation communications are confidential by statute and inadmissible if disclosed. The signed memorandum is the exception; it is a real document.
A judge will rubber-stamp whatever we agreed.
The court reviews property and maintenance terms for unconscionability under a two-step test, and children’s terms for their best interests. Most agreements pass; unfair ones do not.
Colorado doesn't have collaborative divorce.
It has had a statute since January 1, 2022, with the lawyer-disqualification structure the bar once said was unethical.
Arbitration is final.
For the money, nearly. For the children, either party may demand a new hearing in the district court within thirty-five days, at the loser’s cost.
If my spouse won't be reasonable, I'm stuck.
The calendar moves the case whether or not your spouse cooperates: disclosures, experts, mediation, hearing. Unreasonable spouses pay under the fee statutes and lose in front of a judge who watched.
What to bring, and what to settle first.
Before mediation
Bring the trial file.
- Both sides’ disclosures, checked against each other
- The valuation reports and the income analysis
- Support worksheets under every plausible set of inputs
- A draft parenting plan, in overnights, with the school calendar
- The tax model of every proposal you might make or accept
- Your list of what you need, separated from what you want
Before you choose the room
Six things settled first.
- Whether the abuse exception applies, and whether mediation is safe
- Whether the money and the children should go to different rooms
- Whether a decision-maker belongs in the plan
- Whether the case has the candor collaborative law requires
- What the hearing would cost and produce, honestly estimated
- Who mediates: the state office or a private mediator, and in what format
Most divorces should settle. The strongest settlements go to the side that is plainly prepared not to.
Start with a confidential conversation: tell me about the case →
The questions people ask about the room.
Should we try mediation first?
In the Denver metro districts you will usually be required to mediate before a contested permanent orders hearing, by the court’s case-management order, so the question is when and how, not whether. My answer is: after the disclosures are in and the values are known, with the trial file built. Mediation before the numbers exist produces a deal one side regrets; mediation after them produces a deal both sides can live with, because both know what the alternative looks like.
We signed a memorandum at mediation and my spouse changed their mind the next day. Is it binding?
Usually, yes. A mediated agreement reduced to writing and signed by the parties may be presented to the court as a stipulation and, if approved, is enforceable as an order; a fully executed written agreement is not a confidential mediation communication; and the Supreme Court has said the mediation statute is only one way to enforce such an agreement. The court still reviews the property and maintenance terms for unconscionability and the children’s terms for their best interests, so a signed memorandum is binding subject to that review.
Can what I say in mediation be used against me at the hearing?
No. Mediation communications, including the mediator’s notes and either party’s memoranda, cannot be disclosed voluntarily or compelled through discovery, and a communication disclosed in violation of the statute cannot be admitted into evidence. The exceptions are narrow: written consent of everyone including the mediator, a communication revealing intent to commit a felony, inflict bodily harm or threaten a child’s safety, a disclosure required by statute, or a claim against the mediator. Financial documents you already had to disclose are not protected by handing them to a mediator.
I was abused by my spouse. Can the court still force me to mediate?
No. The court shall not refer a case to mediation where a party claims to have been the victim of physical or psychological abuse by the other party, at any time and regardless of prior participation, and states that they are unwilling to mediate. The Colorado Supreme Court held the exception is mandatory, has no five-day deadline, and requires no proof. The Office of Dispute Resolution screens for domestic violence on its own, and other paths — attorney-negotiated settlement, a settlement conference, a hearing — remain.
What does mediation cost?
The state’s Office of Dispute Resolution charges $75 per party per hour for domestic relations cases, $15 for a party found indigent, with sessions usually running two to three hours and a two-hour deposit; its online program is free. Private mediators, most of them experienced family lawyers or retired judges, charge more per hour and work in half- or full-day sessions with counsel present, which is the format most represented, contested cases use. A party cannot be denied the right to proceed in court for failing to pay a mediator.
Can we arbitrate the money and keep a judge for the kids?
Yes. With the consent of both parties the court may appoint an arbitrator to resolve disputes about the children, and the money can be arbitrated under the arbitration act by agreement. The difference is review: any award about the children is reviewable de novo by the court on a motion filed within thirty-five days, and a party who seeks review and loses pays the other side’s fees and the arbitrator’s unless that would be manifestly unjust. A money award is reviewed only on the narrow grounds for vacating an arbitration award.
Is collaborative divorce a real option in Colorado?
Yes, since January 1, 2022, under Colorado’s Uniform Collaborative Law Act. Both spouses and their lawyers sign an agreement to resolve the case outside court; if it fails, both lawyers and their firms are disqualified from litigating it, which is the pressure that makes it work. The lawyer must explain the benefits and risks against the alternatives and screen for a coercive or violent relationship. It suits couples who can be candid and want privacy; it does not suit a case with hidden assets or a spouse who will not disclose.
What if my spouse won't be reasonable?
Then the case is tried, and it is tried better for having been prepared for settlement. Every step of a Colorado divorce is a deadline the other side has to meet: disclosures in forty-two days, expert reports fifty-six days before the hearing, mediation before the hearing, the hearing itself. A spouse who will not disclose, will not mediate in good faith, or files frivolous motions pays for it under the fee statutes, and a judge who has watched it happen decides the case. Most unreasonable spouses become reasonable somewhere between the disclosures and the trial management certificate; the ones who do not lose at the hearing.
Keep reading
Where to go next.
The next page in this chapter, the pages that belong with it, and the blog posts on the same question.
From the blog, on this topic
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